Teacher: “Kids, what does the chicken give you?” Student: “Meat!” Teacher: “Very good! Now what does the pig give you?” Student: “Bacon!” Teacher: “Great! And what does the fat cow give you?” Student: “Homework!
Přečíst celý »9-1-1
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn’t find the “CALL” button.
Přečíst celý »A family is at the dinner table.
A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they …
Přečíst celý »Chinese girl number
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, “Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!” I said, “Wow!” Then her friend said, “She means 666-3629.”
Přečíst celý »Zhivago Blea: Girl Doesn’t Show Up
Any guys here ever take a Viagra and the girl doesn’t show up? It sucks — you got to go back home and waste it on your wife.
Přečíst celý »Worth More in Las Vegas
A man comes home to find his wife packing her bags and asks her where she’s going.“To Las Vegas. I found out there are men who will pay me $400 to do what I do to you for free.”The man started packing his bags. “Where are you going?” she asked.“I’m …
Přečíst celý »Working on the Fourth Husband
A woman tells her friend she is getting married for the fourth time.“How wonderful! I hope you don’t mind me asking, what happened to your first husband?”“He ate poisonous mushrooms and died.”“Oh, how tragic! What about your second husband?”“He also ate poisonous mushrooms and died.”“Oh, how terrible! I’m almost afraid …
Přečíst celý »Women and Bad Weather
Q: What do women, tornadoes and hurricanes have in common?A: They all get the house.
Přečíst celý »Widow’s Future
A woman visits a fortuneteller who tells her, “Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year.”Visibly shaken, the woman takes a few deep breaths, steadies her voice and asks, “Will I be acquitted?”
Přečíst celý »Whose Panties Are These?
A wife goes on a retreat for work. When she returns, she finds a pair of panties in her dresser that do not belong to her.Furious, she questions her husband. The husband says, “I have no idea where they came from — I don’t do the laundry!”So, the wife goes …
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