I saw a thing in the store the other day, ‘Buy a set of dumbbells, get a video tape on how to use it.’ I’m thinking to myself, ‘You don’t know how to use dumbbells — what are the odds you know how to use a VCR?’
Přečíst celý »Yo’ Mama Is So Fat… Bungee
Yo’ Mama is so fat, when she went bungee jumping, she collapsed the bridge.
Přečíst celý »Yo’ Mama Is So Stupid… Needle
Yo’ Mama is so stupid, she couldn’t find a needle in a needle stack.
Přečíst celý »John Mendoza: Ugly People Don’t Know They’re Ugly
I don’t think ugly people know they’re ugly. I was at a party with a friend the other night. He says to me, ‘Look at that chick over there. She’s a dog.’ I said, ‘So are you. Go over and say hello. Just don’t have any kids.’
Přečíst celý »Yo’ Mama Is So Fat… Bucket of Chicken
Yo’ Mama is so fat, when she went to KFC, she ordered the bucket of chicken on the roof.
Přečíst celý »Yo’ Mama Is So Stupid… Modem
Yo’ Mama is so stupid, she waxed her modem to try to make it faster.
Přečíst celý »John Mendoza: Poetry Reading
My girlfriend wanted to go to a poetry reading the other night. I said, ‘How about if we just break up?’
Přečíst celý »Yo’ Mama Is So Fat… Bronzer
Yo’ Mama’s so fat, she doesn’t use bronzer — she uses Mop n’ Glo.
Přečíst celý »Yo’ Mama Is So Stupid… Mirror
Yo’ Mama is so stupid, she called the police to report a suspicious looking person lurking in her mirror.
Přečíst celý »John Mendoza: Kids Suck
Kids suck. I hate kids. They’re like old people with energy.
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