The neighborhood I grew up in had a sign that said, ‘Go Slow — Deaf Child’… Nowadays, I drive by that sign and all I can think is, ‘When is this deaf kid gonna get his act together and move out of his parents’ house?’
Přečíst celý »Dan Rosen: American Sports
Remember when we were number one in sports? Remember those days? Did you watch the Olympics? We suck. What’d we win — one silver medal in dodgeball?
Přečíst celý »Dan Naturman: Calculator Watch
Nothing says ‘Friday night at home alone’ like a calculator watch. ‘How long has it been since I’ve gotten laid? Let me calculate.’
Přečíst celý »Dan Boulger: Bush and Hitler
They make Bush out to sound like he’s Hitler. And people have to remember that there’s a big difference between Bush and Hitler: Hitler wrote a book.
Přečíst celý »Cruel Joke
Q: What did the blind, deaf, mute quadraplegic boy get for Christmas? A: Cancer.
Přečíst celý »Crossin’ the River
A Kentucky redneck and an Ohio buckeye are night fishing on their respective sides of the Ohio River.As soon as the redneck puts his line in the water, he slings a fish onto the bank. The buckeye isn’t catching anything, so he yells across to the redneck, “Buddy, I’d sure …
Přečíst celý »Cross the Road… Redneck
Q: Why did the redneck cross the road? A: He wanted to sleep in the ditch on the other side.
Přečíst celý »Cross the Road… Radical Woman
Q: Why did the woman cross the road?A: I don’t know, but where’d she get shoes and what is she doing out of the kitchen?
Přečíst celý »Craig Anton: Eric Estrada Sighting
The other day I was flying in, I had Eric Estrada on my flight. And I had to say something — I said, ‘Hey, you’re the guy from “Chips.”‘ He said, ‘Yes. Would you like another drink before we land?’
Přečíst celý »Clinton, Bush & Washington
Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and George Washington are on a sinking ship. As the boat sinks, George Washington shouts, “Save the women!” George W. Bush hollers, “Screw the women!” Bill Clinton asks excitedly, “Do we have time?”
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