Two cannibals just got their hands on a corpse. One says to the other, “I’ll start at the head, you start at the feet.” They start to eat, and after awhile the one at the head yells to the other one, “Hey, how’s it going?” The other replies, “I’m having …
Přečíst celý »The Bottom Line
A cowboy rides his horse up to a saloon. All the patrons gawked as the cowboy kissed his horse on the butt before coming in and asking for a drink. The bartender serves him and asks, “Mind if I ask why’d ya kiss your horse on the butt?” The cowboy …
Přečíst celý »The Blind Man
I see, said the blind man, peeing into the wind. It’s all coming back to me now.
Přečíst celý »The Blind Guy Polemic
An almost blind guy walked into a sexy lingerie shop to purchase their most see-through item for his wife. After receiving some help from the store clerk, he bought a lace teddy for $600 and brought it home for his wife to try on. She took it upstairs and realized …
Přečíst celý »The Army Hospital
An army major visits the sick soldiers, goes up to one private and asks: "What’s your problem, Soldier?" "Chronic syphilis, Sir" "What treatment are you getting?" "Five minutes with the wire brush each day." "What’s your ambition?" "To get back to the front, Sir." "Good man." says the Major.
Přečíst celý »That’s tacky
A pollock walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist if he sells condoms. We have some for 75 cents a peace. The man asks for two. The pharmacist calculates the total and says, “That will be $1.58 with tax, sir.” The pollock says, “Oh, these come with tacks? I …
Přečíst celý »That’s Not Your Rug
One day in the city a bus driver was making his usual stops. At the first stop a woman came to the front of the bus to get off. She turned to the bus driver and said, “I think I was just molested back there.” The bus driver looked at …
Přečíst celý »That’s Meaty
A man walked in to his local butcher to find his regular butcher, John absent so he asks the manager, “Where’s John?” The manager tells the man that John was fired because he was found sticking his d**k in the meat slicer” Then the man asked, “Where is the meat …
Přečíst celý »Ten Things to Do in a Public Bathroom
1.Come out of the stall with wet hands. 2.Pour water in a constant stream on the floor and say, ‘Darn, I almost made it!’ 3.Wash you hair and dry it in the hand dryer. 4.Wear papertowels wrapped around your head and pretend you’re Erykah Badu. 5.Write on the wall of …
Přečíst celý »Talking Out of Your Ass
If I wanted to hear from an a**hole I would fart.
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