English Jokes You will not be bored with us!

Q: What is the thing that you keep on looking for, but when you find it, you throw it away? A: A booger.

A couple walked into the supermarket. They looked confused, so a clerk walked up to them and asked them what they wanted. The couple asked for a couple of lottery tickets. He gave the tickets to them, and they paid for them. The husband looked confused again. He asked the …

Alien Haserection The Adventures of Prudo Snatch

A man decided to paint the toilet while his wife was away. His wife came home sooner than he expected, used the toilet, and got the seat stuck to her rear.Distraught, she asked her husband to unscrew the seat and drive her to the doctor.When they got to the doctor’s …

I refuse to go to the bathroom on an airplane because if I’m gonna die in a cartwheeling ball of flames, it is not gonna be in a flying outhouse with my pants around my ankles.

I’m thinking, when I finally go, when my time is up, I’d like to be cremated. Most people when they’re cremated, they want their ashes to be released over the ocean or maybe the grave of a loved one. I’d like to be sprinkled over the food of someone I …

A Russian guy comes across a bottle of vodka on the street. He picks it up and a genie comes out, “You are my master. You now have one wish.”The Russian man says, “I would like to piss vodka.”When the he gets home, he tells his wife to get two …

Q: What did the butcher say when he backed into the meat-grinder? A: Looks like I’m getting a little behind in my work!

1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play.2. Play must be permitted by the owner of the hole.3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out.4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course …

I’m like a child living by myself. I leave stuff on the stove while I’m sleeping. I wash my ass with the same rag I wash the dishes with.