What did the dad say when his son said, ”Dad I’m tired of walking in circles? ”Shut up kid or I’ll nail your other foot to the ground.”
Přečíst celý »Mommy, Mommy!
“Mommy, Mommy! Where have all your scabs gone?” “Shut up and eat your corn flakes.”
Přečíst celý »Microwaves
Q: What’s brown and taps on the window? A: A baby in a microwave!
Přečíst celý »Men With No Arms or Legs
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob. On the wall? Art. On the floor? Matt.
Přečíst celý »Men and the Toilet Seat
Q: How many men does it take to put down a toilet seat?A: Who knows — it’s never been done.
Přečíst celý »Men and Diapers
Q: Why are men like diapers?A: They are always on your ass and full of sh*t, and thankfully, they’re disposable.
Přečíst celý »Medical Samples
An old man and his wife went to the doctor’s office. The doctor asked the man for a blood, urine and feces sample.The man was slightly deaf and said, “What?”The doctor said, “I need a blood, urine and feces sample.”The man still looked puzzled, so his wife leaned over and …
Přečíst celý »Maxi Pad to the Fart
Q: What did the maxi pad say to the fart?A: You are the wind beneath my wings.
Přečíst celý »Matt Goldich: Wet Willies
Somebody tried to give me a wet willie earlier today. You guys know what that is? It’s when someone sucks on their finger and tries to stick it in your ear. Gotta say, I never really understood a form of torture that’s just as disgusting for the person administering it …
Přečíst celý »Maryellen Hooper: Covering Up Zits
I figured if I colored a black dot on top of a zit, it will look like a beauty mark. It didn’t. It looked like I had a tick sucking on my face, which wasn’t the look I was going for, and my boyfriend jumped on me with a cigarette.
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