Thursday , January 23 2025

Geriatric Medicine

An old woman goes to the doctor’s office. The doctor gives her a checkup and says, “I need to do stool, blood and urine tests.” The woman says, “Well, can I just leave my underwear? Bingo starts in half an hour.”

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Gassy Granny

An old lady goes to the doctor and says, “I have this problem with frequent gas. Fortunately, the farts never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I’ve farted at least 10 times since I’ve been here, and I bet you didn’t even notice!” The doctor says, …

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Foot-Long Carrot

Two women are digging in the garden. One pulls out a foot-long carrot and says, “This one reminds me of my husband.” The second woman replies, “Your husband’s is that long?” Her friend answers, “No — that dirty.”

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Fishsticks are for Lovahs

A kid walks by his parents having sex asks what’s going on and his mother tells him, “We are making fishsticks”. The next day the kid says, “Mom were you making fishsticks again?” And she says “Why, yes, how did you know, honey?” And the kid replies, “Well, you have …

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English, Irish & Scottish Football

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman are wandering through the desert, hungry and hallucinating, when they come upon a rotting, dead camel. “Well,” said the Englishman. “I support the Liverpool football club, so I’ll eat the liver.” “I support the Hearts club,” said the Scotsman. “I’ll eat the heart.” …

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