English Jokes You will not be bored with us!

Did you hear about the depressed proctologist? He’s been feeling down in the dumps.

Q: What is the definition of agony? A: A one-armed man hanging off a cliff with itchy balls.

Two hunters were stalking through the forest when one said to the other that he has to take a dump. His friend replies, “Well, go in the bushes.” “What should I use to wipe my ass?” he asks. “Use a dollar bill,” his friend says. A few minutes later, the …

Shouldn’t they put the words ‘men’ and ‘women’ on the bathroom doors? Just ‘men’ and ‘women.’ Sometimes, they get creative: they do pictures and symbols, and you’ve got to guess which one you are. People hate that. They have a few beers, and then they get down there, they’re just …

I don’t really like strip clubs, but I got a cousin, he got strippers in his budget… So we’re hangin’ out in Canada, and if you’ve ever been to Canada, you know they have totally nude strippers — naked nude. And they sellin’ lap dances for $20, and he’s buyin’ …

I’m a different type of comic. I tend to start slow and then just kind of — urinate on myself.

One day a medical professor and his class were standing over a corpse and the professor said, ”There are two things to being a medical forensicist. First: Don’t fear anything.” After saying that, the professor shoved his middle finger up the corpse’s anus and licked it. He then told the …

Did you hear about the new movie “Constipation?” It hasn’t come out yet.

Q: Why are constipated people so rude? A: They don’t give a crap.

Did you hear about the constipated accountant? He couldn’t budget, so he had to work it out with a pencil and paper.