English Jokes You will not be bored with us!

Q: Why was the 6’6″ guy so brokenhearted after his 4’9″ girlfriend dumped him? A: He was nuts over her.

Trying to find one woman that I can spend the rest of this weekend with.

My parents have been together for over 40 years, y’all. Ain’t that something? That’s a long time. Yeah, they’re getting married next month, so we’re looking forward to that.

Before we got married, she was like a good health plan — I had full coverage, you know what I’m saying? Once we got married, she turned into a HMO, selective coverage. I’m like, ‘Hey, you keep this up, I’m going to have to go outside the network.’

I think your marriage license should be like your driver’s license: should have an expiration date on it. You should have to renew it every couple of years, and if you don’t renew it, it just run out.

Puerto Rican women love to argue, and they can argue really loud. We live in an apartment building, and when you live next to white people, you have to keep your arguments very low because they will call the police.

Let me tell you why I hate Valentine’s Day — ’cause a few years ago, on Valentine’s night, I thought I would have a nice, romantic evening in with a lady. But little did I know, that that same night, her ex-boyfriend thought he would try to win her heart …

As a couple gets into bed, the husband starts to rub and kiss his wife. She turns over and says, “I’m sorry, honey. I’ve got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow, and I want to stay fresh.” The husband sadly turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps …

Q: What comes with the new Divorced Barbie? A: All of Ken’s stuff.

I thought it would be so easy to meet guys when I got out of college because it was very easy to meet guys in college. I mean, this was really all you had to do to meet some guy in college: ‘Oh my God, I am so wasted!’