You ever go into a restaurant — whether you want a Coke or a Pepsi, they always have the other one?
Přečíst celý »Knock, Knock… Banana
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Knock, knock. Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Knock, knock. Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Knock, knock. Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?
Přečíst celý »Kevin Kataoka: Pay Toilets
Fifty cents to use the pay toilets at Taco Bell. What’s Taco Bell telling us when taking a dump is 50 cents, but a Fiesta Taco is 39 cents? What is that — eat now, pay later?
Přečíst celý »Kelly MacFarland: Salad Time
I work with some women who are really skinny — really really skinny. They have this thing called ‘salad time.’ There’s a leader. ‘Salad time,’ she’ll say to the other ones, and they all get up and walk with her. They go get salads and bring them back and then …
Přečíst celý »Jon Manfrellotti: Eating the Fake Food
Does anybody else’s grandparents eat the fake food? My grandfather was the worst because he had bad eyes and he was always hungry. I’m in a restaurant one time, we go to the men’s room — my grandfather was standing by the condom machine going, ‘Hey, this gum has got …
Přečíst celý »John Mendoza: In Denny’s on Your Birthday
Denny’s has a slogan, ‘If it’s your birthday, the meal is on us.’ If you’re in Denny’s and it’s your birthday, your life sucks.
Přečíst celý »John Ferrentino: Watching “Alive”
I saw the movie ‘Alive.’ Did you see that movie? The movie where the plane crashes, and they eat each other to stay alive? And I’m thinking, ‘Hey, this is one movie they won’t be showing on the airlines.’ No, not because the planes crashes, but the fact that the …
Přečíst celý »Joey Vega: The Wait to Go Swimming
Your mother was the only one that knew how long you could wait after you eat before you could go swimming. My mother would look at me, ‘What did you have? Ham and cheese, mayonnaise? Thirty-eight minutes.’
Přečíst celý »Joey Kola: Six-Year-Old Son
He wakes up, and he wants a cookie for breakfast. He knows she’s going to say no. So, he comes to me at six o’clock in the morning. You’re an intelligent man. If somebody looks at you at six o’clock in the morning and goes, ‘I want a cookieee!’, what …
Přečíst celý »Joey Kola: My Wife’s Shopping Skills
She took my son to Costco, bought 14 pounds of Oreos — saved us money somehow. I don’t know how. The coupon queen worked that out.
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