English Jokes You will not be bored with us!

I promise to love, honor and cherish you — for about two days a month.

It’s America, not a load of laundry — no need to separate the white and the colors.

Somebody told me the best way to meet women is to do something you enjoy — right away, you have something in common. So, I’ve spent the past year smoking dope and watching television.

There are two types of people in the world: there are those who have lots of casual sex with strangers — and there’s jealous people.

Surely, there must be a more dignified way to express your love and admiration for another human being — like baking them a cake or something, or just leaving them alone for a while.

I love college girls. The only girls I date in college, though, are sorority girls. Why? Because they’re dumb. You can trick them so easy. ‘I’m your boyfriend.’ ‘Oh my God! Let’s have sex!’

I was asked once. We actually set a date. I knew he wasn’t committed because he only penciled it in.

I think the thing to remember when you’re looking for true love is just keep your hopes up. ‘Cause you never know, you could round a corner and bump into Mr. You Might Do.

I’m single now. And it’s really weird for me to be dating again because, for the last three years, I’ve just been cheating.

I like psycho chicks…. Yeah, you hook up with a psycho, you’re gonna learn something. First thing you learn is how to sleep with one eye open.