English Jokes You will not be bored with us!

Q: What do you get when you cross a rooster and an owl?A: A c**k that stays up all night.

Q. What do you get when you cross a rooster and a lollipop?A: A c**ksucker.

Q: What do you get when you mix a rooster with a telephone pole? A: A 30-foot cock that helps you reach out and touch someone.

Q: What did the snail say when it caught a ride on the back of the turtle as it was crossing the road? A: “Yahoo!”

They got a sign in the bathroom that said, ‘No smoking or eating.’ Who the hell’s going to eat in the bathroom of the zoo? You know, be like, ‘Hey, the zoo don’t smell bad enough — let’s go have a snack in the john.’

You ever see that show, ‘When Animals Attack’? They should call it, ‘When Stupid People Get Bit.’

They’ve got those freakin’ bugs down there, the big ones that fly away with your kids. You ever see those things — palmetto? I was going to step on one; I thought he’d tear my shoe off, stick it in my ass.

Scientists at NASA have developed a gun built specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields. British …

I was walking home when I noticed a couple of robins laying down in the sun. I let my talking cats out and the kitten said to her mom, ”I’m hungry!” So the mother cat said, ”What would you like?” The kitten replied, ”I don’t know!” Then the mother cat …

I flew out here on Southwest Airlines. Southwest has a plane that’s painted like Shamu the whale from Sea World. Yeah, that’ll be easy to find if that went down in the ocean. That’ll be nice, when you’re trying to get out and a real whale’s humping your window.