I hate it when a girl tries to offer me a lame consolation prize. ‘Cause girls will say things like, ‘Oh, we’re not going to have sex, but I’ll give you a hand job.’ I have hands. They have the job. The position is filled. I don’t need to outsource …
Přečíst celý »Elevator Operator Booty Call… Preference
Personally, I prefer going down.
Přečíst celý »Elephant Feet
Q: Why do elephants have four feet? A: In the animal kingdom, six inches just doesn’t cut it.
Přečíst celý »Elephant Encounter
Q: What should you do if you come across an elephant? A: Apologize and wipe it off.
Přečíst celý »Elephant & Prostitute
Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a prostitute? A: A two-ton pick-up.
Přečíst celý »Eddie Sarfaty: Confused in High School
I had this girlfriend in high school, and we had sex, and at first I thought that was kind of hot… but I knew there was something wrong. I was kind of confused, so I went to see my guidance counselor, and the sex with him was so much better.
Přečíst celý »Eddie Brill: Animal Similes
Whenever we use similes for some reason, we always use animals. And I’ll show you what I mean. They say a man’s an animal trying to pick up a girl at a bar. He likes to show her he’s strong as an ox, sly as a fox, memory like an …
Přečíst celý »Early Morning Rings
One night, Sam went out drinking only to find the next morning he had two rings around his penis. Immediately, he went to the doctor. “I have some good news and some bad news,” said the doctor. “The good news is the red ring is lipstick and the bad news …
Přečíst celý »Ear Condoms
Q: Why did the man put condoms on his ears during sex? A: He didn’t want to get hearing aids.
Přečíst celý »Duck at the Pharmacy
A duck walks into a pharmacy and asks for a condom. The pharmacist asks, “Would you like me to put that on your bill?” The duck replies, “What kind of duck do you think I am?”
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