One Sunday, a pastor asked his congregation to consider giving a little extra in the offering plate. He said that whoever gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns.After the offering plates were passed, the pastor noticed that someone had contributed a $100 bill. Extremely grateful, he …
Přečíst celý »Yo’ Mama Is So Fat… The Gym
Yo’ Mama is so fat, the only thing stopping her from going to the gym is the doorframe.
Přečíst celý »Things Men Don’t Say
— Let’s watch Lifetime.— Sex is overrated.— I don’t want to go too far on the first date.— Yes, your sister does have bigger breasts than you.— Don’t we owe your mother a visit?— I’m relieved I don’t have a large penis weighing me down.— Dessert goes right to my …
Přečíst celý »The Wrong Way
A senior citizen was driving down the freeway when his wife called his cell phone.“Herman, I just heard on the news that there’s a car going the wrong way on Route 280. Please be careful!”“It’s not just one car,” said Herman, “It’s hundreds of them!”
Přečíst celý »Gary Ewing: You Look Like Somebody
You ever notice when people tell you you look like somebody, it’s always someone who you think is ugly?
Přečíst celý »The Hunter’s Topless Maidens
A hunter saves an Indian chief being chased by a grizzly bear in the woods. The chief invites the hunter back to his camp to celebrate and reward the hunter for saving his life.At the celebration, the Indian chief says to the hunter, “I have a special surprise for you: …
Přečíst celý »Fred Wolf: Trophy Shop
We’re in this trophy shop, right? There’s trophies everywhere, shelves and shelves of trophies. My dad looks around and goes, ‘This guy’s really good.’
Přečíst celý »The Bad Belt
Q: Why did the belt get locked up? A: He held up a pair of pants.
Přečíst celý »Fred Wolf: My Grandmother, the Beauty Queen
When she was like 17 or 18 years old, she won a beauty contest back in Pennsylvania. She ran like three miles a day; she jogged; she swam six, seven miles a day. She was in really good shape, and she won a beauty contest. She was a good-looking woman. …
Přečíst celý »Tess: Big Girls in Style
Big girls, we starting to get in style with the skinny girls, too. We can wear thongs, now. I can wear a thong — shoot, you may not be able to see it, but I can wear it.
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