English Jokes You will not be bored with us!

Q: Why couldn’t the animals on Noah’s Ark play cards? A: Because Noah was standing on the deck!

Q. What’s te definition of a bachelor pad? A. All the house plants are dead, but there’s something growing in the refrigerator.

Q. What did Snow white say when her photos didn’t come back from the photo store? A. “Some day my prints will come!”

Q: Why did the haunted house not like rain? A: Because it dampened his spirits.

Q: What did the hat say to the necktie? A: You go AHEAD I’ll HANG AROUND!

The strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen. After several minutes, the older worker had had enough. “Why don’t you put your money where …

The world’s most incredibly lazy man found a magic lamp. He rubbed it and a genie appeared and granted him three wishes. He wished for a horse, a sumo wrestler and a squirrel. “They’re yours, but what are they for?” the genie asked. “I’m tired of walking everywhere–I want to …

There was a man who entered a local paper’s pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

Martin asked David, “In which state does the Ohio River run?” David answered with cool, “In the liquid state.”

A man walks into a palm reader store and asks the reader, “Could you read my palm?” He shows his hand to her, and she says, “But…I can’t read your hand.” “Why?” the man asks. “I don’t understand your handwriting,” the woman replies.