You ever get a gift from somebody and, as you open up that gift, you involuntarily shout out, ‘Do you even know me?!’
Přečíst celý »Megan Mooney: Bridesmaid Dresses
Why would your friends make you wear an ugly dress? Because it’s their wedding, not yours. My friends weren’t even nice. They’re like, ‘Could the dress show more back fat? Let’s get these tighter.’
Přečíst celý »Yo’ Mama Is So Fat… Hippos
Yo’ Mama is so fat, the hippos at the zoo get jealous of her figure.
Přečíst celý »Megan Mooney: “Price Is Right” Fans
If you like ‘The Price Is Right,’ you’re either 90 or a pothead.
Přečíst celý »Yo’ Mama Is So Fat… Highway Regulation
Yo’ Mama is so fat, the highway department makes her wear an “Oversize Load” sign every time she takes a walk.
Přečíst celý »Medieval Booty Call… Wench
You’re not like the other wenches. I could tell the moment I brushed your bodice.
Přečíst celý »Astronaut Booty Call… Your Moon
I’ve never been to a moon like yours.
Přečíst celý »Astronaut Booty Call… Weightless
Hey baby, you look weightless to me.
Přečíst celý »Yo’ Mama Is So Fat… High Dive
Yo’ Mama is so fat, when she jumps off the high dive, she shows up on radar.
Přečíst celý »Matt Graham: Military Cuckoo Clock
Yesterday I bought a cuckoo clock at an Army Navy store. Last night at 10, the bird chirped 2,200 times.
Přečíst celý »