English Jokes You will not be bored with us!

A grade school teacher asks her students what their parents do for a living.Billy proudly stands up and announces, “My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse.”The teacher is aghast and promptly changes the subject. Later that day, she calls Billy’s mother and explains what Billy said.Billy’s mother says, “Actually, his …

I love doing comedy, you guys. I knew comedy was for me when I was the only Asian in high school that failed math. But you know, when I failed, eight other students around me failed, too.

I just had a birthday. My buddies all took me out. One of them pipes up, out of nowhere, he’s like, ‘You know, out of all of us, D, you’re the only one, man, who does not have any kids. I said, ‘Ha-ha-ha-ha, yeah!’ And the other one said, ‘What’s …

Q: What did one chair say to another chair? A: “Here comes another a**hole.”

I told my daughter she shouldn’t drink alcohol at a young age because drunk ass Maurice painted our kitchen, our living room and our dining room for half a bottle of wine. I was able to teach her two lessons: one was the evils of alcohol and two was how …

— Your refrigerator holds more solid foods than liquids.— You’ve lost the thread on your favorite soap opera.— 8 a.m. means shower and shave, not wake and bake.— You file taxes with more than three digits.— You hear your favorite songs in doctor’s waiting rooms and when you’re on hold …

Here’s the great thing about raising a kid in a rough neighborhood. You don’t have to have these little metaphors about why not to do things. If I don’t want her to do drugs, I just go, ‘Look, see? That’s why — ’cause Crackhead Phil lives in my hallway.’

— The Littlest Pawn: A Custody Battle— Fun Four-Letter Words to Know and Share— The Curious Immigrant and the High-Voltage Fence— Some Hobos Can Be Kind— Why You Are Up for Adoption— Grandpa Gets a Casket— 101 Things You Can Do at the Bottom of the Pool — The Magic …

It was actually very strange growing up because both my parents are actors, so they were always worried that we wouldn’t create a scene.

“Mommy, the kids all say we’re aliens from outer space. That’s not true, is it?” “Vegl dibrogmrn di shtrtl mixtor!”