The other day, my little boy talked back to my wife. She told him to do something; he said, ‘No, I don’t want to.’ So, I had to pull him aside and say, ‘Listen — you gotta teach me how to do that.’
Přečíst celý »Little Johnny… Make a Sentence
Little Johnny’s teacher asks him to make a sentence using the following words: defeat, deduct, defense and detail.Little Johnny says, “De feet of de duck went over de fence before de tail.”
Přečíst celý »Brian Kiley: Pregnant Wife
When she was pregnant, she would get these cravings in the middle of the night. She would get these cravings for other men.
Přečíst celý »Brian Kiley: Old Fashioned Names
We picked out kinda old fashioned names for our kids. Our little boy is Hunter, and our little girl is Gatherer.
Přečíst celý »Little Johnny… Geometry
Teacher: “Little Johnny, give me a sentence using the word, ‘geometry.'”Little Johnny: “A little acorn grew and grew until it finally awoke one day and said, ‘Gee, I’m a tree.'”
Přečíst celý »Brian Kiley: Not Very Tough
When I was in junior high, we moved to the suburbs to a neighborhood that was not very tough at all. Even our school bully was only passive-aggressive. He wouldn’t take your lunch; he’d just go, ‘You’re gonna eat all that?’
Přečíst celý »Little Johnny… Finding Jesus
A Sunday school teacher is concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, “Where is Jesus today?”Steven raises his hand and says, “He’s in Heaven.”Mary answers, “He’s in my heart.”Little Johnny waves his hand furiously and blurts out, “He’s in our bathroom!”The …
Přečíst celý »Little Johnny… Fascinate
A teacher asks her students to give her a sentence with the word “fascinate” in it. A little girl says, “Walt Disney World is fascinating.”The teacher says, “No, I said, ‘fascinate.'”Another little girl says, “There’s so much fascination when it comes to sea life.”The teacher again says, “No, the word …
Přečíst celý »Brian Kiley: Marry Daddy
Having dinner last night, my six-year-old turned to me and said, ‘Dad, when I grow up, I’m gonna marry you.’ We laughed about it. My wife said, ‘Don’t make the same mistakes I did.’
Přečíst celý »Little Johnny… Big Word
The teacher says, “Today we are going to learn multisyllabic words, class. Does anyone have an example of a multisyllabic word?”Little Johnny waves his hand, “Me, teacher! Oh, me, me!”The teacher smiles and says, “Alright, Johnny, what is your multisyllabic word?”Little Johnny says, “Mas-tur-bate.”The teacher is taken aback, but she …
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