Amanda Melson: Take Back the Field

I read that, apparently, 13% of young men living in rural America lose their virginity to livestock. That is not right — those poor cows. I’m thinking of starting the first annual ‘Take Back the Field’ rally. I’ve got some slogans for the cows, like, ‘Moo Means No!’ Or, ‘Hey, stop treating us like women and start treating us like pieces of meat!’