Eddie Brill: Animal Similes

Whenever we use similes for some reason, we always use animals. And I’ll show you what I mean. They say a man’s an animal trying to pick up a girl at a bar. He likes to show her he’s strong as an ox, sly as a fox, memory like an elephant, can become slippery as an eel, a regular snake in the grass. Girl likes that; she’s going home with him. They’re snug as two bugs in a rug. So they go home. They hump like rabbits. Unfortunately, he’s quick as a bunny. She’s depressed. She goes right into the refrigerator. She’s hungry as a bear, eats like a pig. He goes to the liquor cabinet, gets drunk as a skunk. He drinks like a fish; he’s blind as a bat. Next thing you know, he’s out in the street, naked as a jaybird. He’s pissing like a racehorse. He goes, ‘Screw her. I’m hung like a horse.’