So this is what I would do if I found this kitten: I would take her and I would shave her and I would dye her purple and I’d put little leather pants on her and I’d teach her to talk somehow — I don’t know how — and I’d bring her back, and I’d be like, ‘Here’s Fluffy!’ And they’d be like, ‘What happened?’ And I’d say, ‘Oh ba-da-da-da-da — sorry, I believe the little flyer here said no questions asked.’
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