- Juan Valdez names his mule after you.
- You chew on your roommate’s fingernails.
- You can jump-start your car without cables.
- You do twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it’s not plugged in.
- You can’t remember your second cup.
- You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
- Starbucks has a mortgage on your house.
- Your birthday is a national holiday in Columbia.
- You don’t sweat – you percolate.
- You grind coffee beans in your mouth.
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Yo’ Mama’s Cooking… Homeless
Yo’ Mama’s cooking is so bad, the homeless give it back.