Doug Mellard: Why I Hate Valentine’s Day

Let me tell you why I hate Valentine’s Day — ’cause a few years ago, on Valentine’s night, I thought I would have a nice, romantic evening in with a lady. But little did I know, that that same night, her ex-boyfriend thought he would try to win her heart back. And, being the sweet, romantic guy that he is, he thought the best way to do this would be to get all coked up and then jump through a window and try to murder me.