Geoff Keith: Teaching My Girlfriend About Hanukkah

I am Jewish; my girlfriend’s not. She did buy me eight presents for Hanukkah, though. I was like, ‘Why did you buy me eight presents for Hanukkah?’ She’s like, ‘Eight presents, for the eight nights of Hanukkah.’ I was like, ‘You idiot, there’s 32 nights of Hanukkah — and I like electronics. Now, go to the mall. Religious minimum: $50 a gift.’