Pete Dominick: Baby Photos

I have this picture of my daughter on my phone — in the bathtub when she was, like, a year old. I showed this girl — I’m on line at the store — I’m like, ‘Eh, pretty cute?’ The girl just looks at me, goes, ‘Aw, is that your daughter?’ ‘No, no, I take naked baby photos. I gotta go. My windowless white van is double parked outside, full of candy and teddy bears. I don’t want them to melt.’