AT&T ruined my last relationship because I’d get bad reception. My girlfriend would yell at me for it. ‘Hello? I can’t hear you! What? What? Why don’t you call me back when you can get a better signal.’ I was so scared of her, I’d apologize. ‘I’m sorry, honey. I shouldn’t have been standing so far from away from the satellite. I’ll try to get those coordinates from CIA so I can cater to your every ridiculous complaint.’
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