Yo Mama”so fat she was on Jerry Springer and Ricky Lake at the same time.

Yo daddy is so bald, when he wears a turtleneck he looks like a broken condom.

Did you hear about the Alabama Lottery? You can win $20 dollars every year for the next million years.

Q: What does XXX stand for in a porno film?A: It’s the signature of the three blondes who “act” in it.

Three Texas plastic surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed. One of them said, “I’m the best plastic surgeon in Texas. A concert pianist lost 7 fingers in an accident, I reattached them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of …

A man with greasy jeans, a flannel shirt, and work boots approaches the headwaiter in an elegant restaurant.The man says, “Hey buddy, where’s your crapper?”The headwaiter calmly replies, “Go down the hall and turn left. When you see the sign marked ‘Gentlemen,’ pay absolutely no attention to it and go …

Q: Why do only 40% of men go to Heaven?A: If they all went, it would be hell.

Q: Why doesn’t a woman need a car?A: Because you don’t need a car to get from the bedroom to the kitchen.

Q: How do you fix a woman’s watch?A: You don’t — there’s a clock on the oven.

Q: What do you call a woman with no a**hole?A: Divorced.