Yo’ Mama is such a drunk, if it weren’t for the olives in martinis, she would starve.

I’m really trying to like baseball, but I finally figured out why I can’t watch it: I have a pulse.

Yo’ Mama is so fat, she buys clothes in three sizes: large, extra large, and “Oh my God, it’s coming towards us!”

Yo’ Mama is so ugly, she has to sneak up to water fountains to get a drink.

So I go to flea markets to save money… I love to go. I was at a great one last week. Actually, it was a trailer park. People just let me browse through their homes.

Yo’ Mama is so fat, she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.

Yo’ Mama is so ugly, her vibrator went soft.

Q: What do rocks and women have in common?A: Men skip them when they’re flat.

Yo’ Mama is so fat, when she gets her shoes shined, she has to take the shoeshine boy’s word for it.

Yo’ Mama is so ugly, she not only got hit with the ugly stick, she must have got lost in an ugly forest.