Yo’ Mama is so fat, I had to take a train and two buses just to get on her good side.

Yo’ Mama is so stupid, it takes her two hours to watch “60 Minutes.”

I went to a gym. They offered me free membership for life if I posed for a ‘don’t let this happen to you’ poster.

Yo’ Mama is so fat, I’ve known her for seven years and still haven’t met yo’ whole mama.

Yo’ Mama is so stupid, she’s as useless as a screen door on a submarine.

Tried to get a little rest before the show. The phone kept ringing — ring, ring, ring, ring — this morning, ring, ring, ring. Pick it up, ‘Hello?’ ‘Hello, is Len there?’ I said, ‘Yeah, this is Len. Who’s this?’ Said, ‘It’s Santa Claus. I’m sorry, did I wake you?’ …

Yo’ Mama’s so fat, her scale reads “Game Over.”

Yo’ Mama is so stupid, she couldn’t pass a urine test.

Q: Have you heard about the lawyers’ word processor?A: No matter what font you select, everything comes out in fine print.

Yo’ Mama is so fat, if she buys a fur coat, a whole species will become extinct.