Yo’ Mama is so stupid, she thought Johnny Cash was a pay toilet.

Not a very tough country, huh? They got an army; they just didn’t give them guns or anything. Look at the Canadian flag — it’s not a symbol of power, it’s a leaf. Oh, don’t screw with Canada. They’ll dry up and blow away.

Yo’ Mama is so fat, a beeper goes off whenever she backs up.

Yo’ Mama is so stupid, she couldn’t buy “Guess” jeans because she didn’t know the answer.

My next door neighbor’s the Keebler Elf. Oh, I hate that little prick. He keeps me up at night making cookies in his tree. That’s no way to run a business. There’re zoning laws, you f**king shrimp.

Yo’ Mama is so fat, she puts in tampons with a bazooka.

Yo’ Mama is so stupid, she thought the international dateline was a global dating service.

There are too many weird Olympic events now, like that one where the gymnasts prance around the mat swirling a piece of ribbon. It’s called ‘rhythmic gymnastics’ — unless you’re five, then it’s called ‘playing.’

Yo’ Mama is so fat, she got baptized at Sea World.

Yo’ Mama is so stupid, she has to re-read the instructions on the shampoo bottle every time she showers.