Why don’t witches wear undies? To get a better grip on their brooms.

Q: Why don’t witches wear undies?A: To get a better grip on their brooms.

Q: Why do men snore when they lie on their backs?A: Because when their balls fall over their a**holes, they vapor-lock.

What do a whore and a bungee jumper have in common? They cost the same, last as long, and if the rubber breaks you’re fucked.

A man comes home late one night, drunk. “Where have you been?” asks his wife. “In the Golden Bar! They have golden chairs, golden glasses, golden beer, and a golden urinal!” This sounds awfully suspicious to the wife, who calls the Golden Bar. “Do you have golden chairs?” “Yes.” “Do …

What did the tampon say to the other tampon in school? I’ll see you next period.

What’s green and smells like pork? Kermit’s finger

A pancake that has fallen on the kitchen floor and you are very hungry for a pancake, but when you pick it up you find the gooey syrup and the creamy butter have acted like a kind of flypaper and so your spongey, yummy pancake is covered in lint, dustmites, …

What is funnier than a zombie baby hanging from a ceiling fan? Hitting it with a shovel when it comes around.

What do you call an abortion in Czechslovakia? A cancelled Czech!