Two men walk into a bar, one wearing a cowboy hat and the other wearing a Yankees cap. The guy in the Yankees cap approaches the bartender and make a bet: “I’ll bet you $1,000 that I can put a shot glass at one end of your bar and piss …
Přečíst celý »Měsíční archivy: July 2016
Walks Into a Bar… Name That Drink
A guy walks into a bar and announces that he can close his eyes and name what kind of alcohol he is drinking and how old it is, just by taste and smell.A drunken guy at the bar says, “I bet I can give you a drink that you can’t …
Přečíst celý »Walks Into a Bar… Leprechaun Pee
A leprechaun walks into a bar. After several pitchers of beer, the leprechaun runs over to a large, mean-looking guy, sticks out his tongue and spits all his legs. The guy reaches out to grab the leprechaun, only to miss him as he jumps back to his seat.“If you know …
Přečíst celý »Walks Into a Bar… Drunk Dry Cleaning
A drunk walks into a bar, orders a shot and and immediately pukes all over his own shirt. “Wha’ my gonna do now? My wifez gonna kill me.”“Relax,” the bartender says, “give me a five-dollar bill.” The bartender folds up the bill and puts it in the guy’s shirt pocket. …
Přečíst celý »Walks Into a Bar… Basement Challenge
Three men walk into a bar. The barman tells them, “If you can sit in my basement for a day, I’ll give you free beer forever.”The first man walks out after five minutes and says, “It’s impossible, you got a swarm of flies in there.”So the second man tries his …
Přečíst celý »Wacked-Out Restaurant
A waitress walks up to one of her tables in a New York City restaurant and notices that the three Bulgarian businessmen seated there are furiously masturbating. She says, “What the hell do you guys think you are doing?” One of the Bulgarian men says, “Can’t you see? Ve arrrre …
Přečíst celý »Visiting Grandma
Mommy, mommy, I don’t want to visit grandma today!“Shut up and keep digging, boy.”
Přečíst celý »Victoria Jackson: Toughen Up the Image
I’m trying to toughen up my image. I don’t have any tattoos or piercings yet, but I do have a cold sore I’ve been ignoring.
Přečíst celý »Victor Varnado: Black Albino Myths
I bet you guys are probably saying, ‘Victor, you’re a black albino. How come don’t you eat babies?’ You guys, that is a myth and a stereotype, OK? Honestly, you guys, I don’t eat babies; I don’t have red eyes — except for when I’m feeding, so I want you …
Přečíst celý »Victor Varnado: Bathroom Adventure
I actually recently had this bathroom adventure. I went to this urinal to, you know, urinalate, and this guy comes to the urinal, like, right next to me. You girls probably don’t know this, but if a guy comes to the urinal right next to you, and there’s, like, plenty …
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