Three men were trekking through the desert and came across a magician standing at the top of a slide. The magician said, ”You may each go down the slide and ask for a drink. When you reach the bottom of the slide, you shall land in a huge glass of …

Three gay men died, and were cremated. Their lovers happened to be at the funeral home at the same time, and were discussing what they planned to do with the ashes. The first man said, ”My Benny loved to fly, so I’m going up in a plane to scatter his …

Three flies in a trashcan get trapped overnight in a bathroom. The first fly goes to the sink, the second fly stays in the tub, and the third fly chooses the toilet.The next morning, all the exhausted flies gather back in the garbage can.The first fly says, “I’m exhausted! I …

This morning as I was buttoning my shirt, a button fell off. After that, I picked up my briefcase, and the handle fell off. Then I went to open the door, and the doorknob fell off. I went to get into my car, and the door handle came off in …

What’s worse than waking up in the morning after an orgy with pubic hair in your teeth? Waking up in the morning after after an orgy with a lump in your throat and a string hanging out of your mouth.

There was a man who just got out of the army. He was really horny and only had $5, so he went to a whore house. He told the women, ”Gimme anything you got.” So then he is having sex with this women and says ”Gosh, you’re really rough inside.” …

There was a vampire who walked into a vampire bar and asked the bartender for a glass of hot water. The bartender asked what for, because everyone else was drinking blood. The vampire pulled out a bloody tampon and said ‘TEA TIME!’

A vacuum salesman goes door-to-door in a new neighborhood. When a woman answers the door at the first house, the salesman walks right in and drops cow patties on her floor.He says, “Ma’am, just to show you how confident I am in the quality of my vacuums, I’ll eat whatever …

— You’ve got a hole in your head.— You always hang around with two nuts.— Your closest neighbor is an a**hole.— Your best friend is a pussy.— Every time you get excited, you throw up.

Three guys begin work at a toothbrush company as salesmen. Each day, two of the guys sell twenty toothbrushes each, and the third guy consistently sells two hundred. The other two guys are jealous, but they can’t figure out his secret. Then, one day, they run into him at the …