One day a miserable toothbrush sits down and says, ”Sometimes I feel I have the worst job in the world.” Then the toilet paper yells, “Think again buddy!”
Přečíst celý »Měsíční archivy: July 2016
The Three Generals
The pentagon said they had too many generals running around, so they decided to get rid of some of them. They offered $10,000 in severance pay for each inch of their body — to be measured however they chose. The Air Force general went first. He said he wanted to …
Přečíst celý »The Scent of an Old Woman
A haggard old lady rides in a fancy hotel’s elevator. On the second floor, a beautiful woman steps on and arrogantly says to the old lady, “Georgio, $100 an ounce.”On the next floor, an equally beautiful women steps on and says, “Chanel, $150 an ounce.”The old lady’s floor approaches and …
Přečíst celý »The Scent of a Carrot
What’s invisible and smells like carrots? Bunny farts!
Přečíst celý »The President’s Dog
Why did President Clinton name his dog Buddy instead of Spot? Because he didn’t want people running around the White House saying, ”come Spot, come Spot!”
Přečíst celý »The Poop List
— Ghost Poop: You feel the poop come out, but there is no poop in the toilet.— Clean Poop: You poop, it’s in the toilet, but there’s nothing on the toilet paper.— Second Wave Poop: You’re done pooping and you’ve pulled your pants up to your knees, but something tells …
Přečíst celý »The Perils of Flatulence
Why should you only put 239 beans in bean soup? Cuz one more will make it “too farty!”
Přečíst celý »The Hurt Bird and the S**t
One day a man was stuck in bumper to bumper traffic, and he really had to take a s**t. So he got out of his car and went over to a bush and took a s**t in his hat. He couldn’t leave his hat there because he had his name …
Přečíst celý »The Hunting Knife
A guy was driving his truck along the interstate, when he admitted to his wife that he had screwed around on her. She proceeded to cut his penis off with a hunting knife, and throw it out the window. The penis whizzed through the air and landed momentarily with a …
Přečíst celý »The Golfer’s Confession
A man goes to the confessional. “Forgive me father, for I have sinned.” “What is your sin, my child?” The priest asks back. “Well,” the man starts, “I used some horrible language this week and feel absolutely terrible.” “When did you do use this awful language?” said the priest. “I …
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