An old man goes into a pharmacy, asks for two Viagra pills and demands that the pharmacist cut them in half. The pharmacist winks at him, “OK, but do you realize they won’t be as effective?” The old man says, “Listen sonny, I’m 80 years old. I don’t want them …

A young man and a young woman were soon to be married, but they both had a problem they had never told anyone else about. The man approached his father one day before the wedding and told him about his problem. His feet REALLY stunk, even if he washed them …

When you’re neckin’ with yer honey And your nose is kinda runny You might think it’s funny… But it’s not.

Q: What did one tampon say to the other?A: Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches.

What did the mother vampire say to her daughter when she picked up a tampon? “Honey, no in-between meal snacks!”

Q: What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?A: Use more lube.

Three little boys were sitting around talking about their fathers. The first boy said, “My dad can blow smoke rings.” The second boy said, “My dad can blow smoke rings out of his nose.” The third boy said, “Well, my dad can blow smoke rings out of his butt.” The …

Two brothers, Bob and Tom, both work for a lumberyard. One day, Bob tells Tom that he can tell what any piece of wood is just by smelling it. Unbelieving, Tom blindfolds Bob and proceeds to test the theory. The first piece of wood Bob smells, he instantly identifies as …

One day two boys were walking through the woods when they saw some rabbit turds. One of the boys said, ”What is that?” ”They’re smart pills,” said the other boy. ”Eat them and they’ll make you smarter. So he ate them and said, ”These taste like crap.” ”See,” said the …

What is the smallest hotel in the world? A p***y – because you gotta leave your bags outside!