The bride’s family sat on this side, and the groom’s family sat on that side ’cause of the restraining order.

My love life is like a fairy tale — it’s grim.

A groom waits at the altar with a huge smile on his face. His best man asks, “Why do you look so excited?”The groom replies, “I just had the best blow job I have ever had in my entire life, and I am marrying the wonderful woman who gave it …

A man, his wife and a good-looking stranger are stranded on a desert island. The wife quickly loses interest in her husband and begins flirting with the good-looking stranger.The three start to build a watchtower. The stranger offers to take first watch. While the husband and wife gather driftwood on …

Someone told my husband and I that there’s a new Playboy for married men — and it has the same centerfold every month.

When I first called up my high school sweetheart, I hadn’t seen him for 12 years, and I found out that he had become a cop. And I thought, ‘Oh, cops are so brave! They’re heroes and protect us from bad people and risk their lives!’ Then I met them …

My husband’s so macho, he has five guns, a helicopter, a motorcycle; he used to be on a SWAT team; and he works the cattle at his mom’s farm. So, I thought, he’s either really macho, or he’s really gay and he’s overcompensating. He likes to clean the house and …

That’s right — I’m a black albino, ladies. You know what I’m talking about: all the benefits of being black, without the disappointing looks from your parents.

I’ve tried this online dating thing, and it’s so weird. The worst thing about online dating is everybody puts the same hobbies down. You know what the most popular hobby in New York City is? Hiking and biking. We live in New York — where the f**k do you hike? …

I used to want to meet a guy that was kind, warm, loving; now, I’m happy if the guy has ears — not that he’ll listen, but that he can.