An Ohio State University mortician student walked into the embalming room where a cadaver was lying on the table.   Confident that he knew enough now to begin the procedure without his instructor, he began to examine the body.  When he rolled it over, he was shocked to see a …

Want to hear a dirty joke? A man fell in the mud. Want to hear a clean joke? He took a bath with bubbles. Want to hear another dirty joke? Bubbles was his neighbor.

How do you get a Michigan girl into an elevator? Grease her hips, and throw in a Twinkie.

Q: What’s black, white and red all over and doesn’t fit through revolving doors? A: A nun with a spear through her head.

One day God came to Adam to pass on some news. “I’ve got some good news and some bad news,” God said. Adam looked at God and said, “Well, give me the good news first.” Smiling, God explained, “I’ve got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. …

Boy Monster: Did you get the big red heart I sent you for Valentine’s? Girl Monster: Yes, I did. Thank you.

What did the dad say when his son said, ”Dad I’m tired of walking in circles? ”Shut up kid or I’ll nail your other foot to the ground.”

“Mommy, Mommy! Where have all your scabs gone?” “Shut up and eat your corn flakes.”

Q: What’s brown and taps on the window? A: A baby in a microwave!

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob. On the wall? Art. On the floor? Matt.