Q: What’s the difference between boogers and broccoli? A: Kids don’t eat broccoli.

Sure, she may be a little lacking in conversation skills, but that’s OK. Unlike you, she doesn’t need to explain why she still wets herself, then falls asleep on our floor.

I love little children, but they are like pinatas full of urine.

Q: What do you call a lesbian with a big tongue? A: Well hung.

Q: What do you call a 900-pound woman with a yeast infection?A: A whopper with cheese.

Johnny was playing outside when he really had to go to the bathroom. He runs in and his grandma was about to take a shower. He looks at her crotch and says, “Whats that?” She says, “Well, it’s a beaver, Johnny.” The next day the same thing happens, only his …

Three robbers break into a bank, but when they open the safe, they find only boxes. One robber opens a box and finds cups full of yogurt. “We didn’t find any money, but we got something to eat,” he tells his partners. They eat their fill and leave. The next …

Q: Why did the bald man cut holes in his pockets? A: He wanted to run his fingers through his hair.

Q: What’s worse than finding 10 zombie babies in one garbage can? A: Finding one zombie baby in 10 garbage cans.

Three triplets in the womb discuss what they would like to be when they grow up. The first one says, “I wanna be a plumber, so I can fix the pipes in here.” The second one says, “I wanna be an electrician, so I can get some lights in here.” …