A hooker brings a client to her condo on Lake Shore Drive in Chicago. The client asks her if she gives good hand jobs.“You see this condo? I bought it by giving good hand jobs.”Her client tells her to give him a hand job. Afterwards, he is impressed and asks …

A woman arrives home from work and her husband notices she’s wearing a diamond necklace. He asks his wife, “Where did you get that necklace?” She replies, “I won it in a raffle at work. Go get my bath ready while I start dinner.” The next day, the women arrives …

Once upon a time, there was a king who thought that his officers were going to try to have sex with his queen. So he made all of his officers put on tight pants and told them that if anyone got a boner their head would be chopped off. So …

A middle aged woman lived alone except for her pet, a male parrot. The woman was very proud of her parrot because it would sit in the bottom of its cage, cross its wings, and pray. She was also a devout church goer and would often brag to the congregation …

Once there was a guy that went in a whorehouse and says, “What can I get for five bucks?” The madam says, “Second door on the right and f**k whatever is there.” He goes, sees a pig, figured “Whaddya want for five bucks?” and f**ks it. The next week he …

Bill has worked in a pickle factory for several years. One day he confesses to his wife that he has a terrible urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggests that he see a therapist to talk about it, but Bill vows to overcome this rash …

Q: What’s the difference between light and hard? A: You can go to sleep with the light on.

A nun, a priest, an Irishman, a Scotsman, a rabbi and a blonde walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and asks, “Is this some kind of joke?”

Did you hear about the blonde and the weight loss video? She threw it away because the people in the video weren’t losing weight either!

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