Q: What do you call the blonde in a horror movie?A: Dead meat.

How do you keep a blonde at home? Build a circular driveway.

Q: What do you call a blonde in an institute of higher learning?A: A visitor.

A police officer saw a car speeding down the highway, and he started chasing after the speeder. When he got close, he saw that it was a woman who was knitting while driving. The cop yelled, “Pull over!” She shouted back, “No, it’s a sweater!”

A blonde, a redhead and a brunette look through a dictionary for the hardest words they know.The brunette’s word is “quizzical.”The redhead’s word is “sardonic.”The blonde’s word is “d**k.”

Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick?A: Because red means stop.

A blonde get’s in her car and notices her steering wheel, dashboard, and windshield is missing. She calls the police and reports a theft. When the police officer comes, he looks at the blonde who is crying and and says, “Ma’am…you’re sitting in the backseat…”

    13> Driving your fellow Congressman into the turnbuckle now considered acceptable method of ending a filibuster.

A guy had a date with this really hot blonde. He wanted a tan without a tan line, so he went up on his roof and stripped. He fell asleep and woke up three hours later with a sunburn everywhere, even on his d**k. He puts lotion on it, wraps …

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead go camping for the weekend. The brunette brings food so they can eat, the red head brings water so they can drink and the blonde brings a car door, so if she gets hot she can roll down a window.