Yo’ Mama is so ugly, when she was young, her mama left her outside a store and got fined for littering.

Yo’ Mama is so ugly, she gets arrested for indecent exposure every time she leaves the house.

Yo’ Mama is so fat, she uses the equator as a belt.

Yo’ Mama is so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down.

I don’t understand how some of you women can be abused by a man with a Jheri curl. That don’t make no sense, man. All you gotta do is carry a lighter.

A black man start losing his hair, what’d he do? Just cut it all off — pow! — Montel Williams in the house! White man start losing his hair, what’d he do? Take the hair from the side and fold it over the top. Black man ain’t going out like …

Yo’ Mama is so fat, she tried to jump rope and knocked the Earth out of orbit.

Yo’ Mama is so ugly, yo’ daddy takes her to work with him so he doesn’t have to kiss her goodbye.

Yo’ Mama is so ugly, I asked if her face hurt because it was killing me.

He’s real old. Matter of fact, he had a prostate check — they found an arrow head in there last week. Pretty nervous about it. He’s going to the archaeologist next week.