A visiting professor at the University of West Virginia gives a seminar on the supernatural.To get a feel for his audience, he asks, “How many people here believe in ghosts?”About 40 students raise their hands.“Well, that’s a good start,” says the professor. “How many have seen a ghost?”About 20 students …

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No ideer (no eye deer with southern twang – in case you didn’t catch that) What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no ideer. What do you call a deer with no eyes, legs and …

Don’t you love the zoo? I love the monkeys, those are my favorite. They’re so cute. And my least favorite, those are the, uh — with little heads, the — the kids.

A guy went to a whore house and asked the lady if she had a woman that could handle 16 inches. “Hmm,” said the madam. “I’m not sure. Try the first door on the right.” So the guy went inside, stuck it in, and immediately heard screams. “It’s too big! …

Q: What kind of pillar can’t hold up a building?A: A caterpillar.

Q: If there’s H2O on the inside of a fire hydrant, what’s on the outside?A: K9P.

Jim and Lena were driving around the countryside when they ran over a skunk.“We better take the skunk to the vet, Lena. Just put the skunk between your legs to keep it warm.”“But, Jim, what about the smell?”“Don’t worry, Lena. The skunk will get used to it.”

Q: Why do walruses go to Tupperware parties?A: To find a tight seal.

A new guy in town walks into a bar and notices a large jar filled to the brim with $10 bills. The man approaches the bartender and asks, “What’s up with the jar?”“Well, you pay $10, and if you pass three tests, then you get all the money.”“What are the …

A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he’ll give him a free beer for an amazing trick. The bartender agrees. The guy pulls out a hamster that begins dancing and singing.“That is amazing!” says the bartender and gives him a beer.“If I show you something else, …