A gorilla walks into a bar and says, “A scotch on the rocks, please.” The gorilla hands the bartender a $10 bill.The bartender thinks to himself, “This gorilla doesn’t know the prices of drinks,” and gives him 15 cents change.The bartender says, “You know, we don’t get too many gorillas …
Přečíst celý »Měsíční archivy: July 2016
Walks Into a Bar… Donkeyboy
Bob and Jim walk into a bar. Bob says, “Hey Donkeyboy, get me a drink.” The bartender gets him a drink.Bob says, “Donkeyboy, get me another drink.” The bartender gets him another drink.Finally, Jim asks the bartender, “Why does he call you Donkeyboy?”“I don’t know. Hehaw-hehaw-he always calls me that.”
Přečíst celý »Walks Into a Bar… Dog Day Afternoon
A guy walks into a bar and orders six shooters. The bartender says, “Looks like you are having a bad day.”The guy says, “Am I ever! I woke up late for work. On my way to work, I got in an accident. When I got to work, I was four …
Přečíst celý »Walks Into a Bar… Different Horses
A guy walks into a bar looking frustrated. The bartender asks, “What’s the matter?”The guy replies, “Well I’ve got these two horses and I can’t tell them apart. I don’t know if I’m mixing up riding times or even feeding them the right foods.”The bartender suggests, “Why don’t you try …
Přečíst celý »Walks Into a Bar… Bears on Drugs
A bear walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t give beer to bears in bars.”The bear replies, “If you don’t give me a beer, I’ll eat that lady over there.”The bartender says, “Go ahead.”So the bear eats the lady and …
Přečíst celý »Walking in a Doggie Wonderland
To the tune of “Walking in a Winter Wonderland”:Dog tags ring, are you listening’?In the lane, snow is glistening.It’s yellow, not white — I’ve been there tonight,Marking up my winter wonderland.Smell that tree? That’s my fragrance.It’s a sign for wandering vagrants;“Avoid where I pee, it’s my property.Marked up as my …
Přečíst celý »Wailing Whale
What do you do with a blue whale? Cheer it up!
Přečíst celý »Vulgar Chicken
Q: What does a vulgar chicken say? A: F**k, f**k, f**k…
Přečíst celý »Virgin Wool
Where do you get Virgin Wool? From an ugly sheep!
Přečíst celý »Vampire Blood Bath
Once there was a group of vampire bats that lived in a cave outside of a big city. One night, one said to a another, “I’m so hungry. I’m going to go get something.” “No don’t! We have to wait for the others!” “I don’t care.” And off he went. …
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