Yo’ Mama is so fat, the tag on her dress reads, “Made in Hungary, Turkey, China, U.S.A., Algeria, Japan, and Indonesia.”

I am pretty sure that Eskimos are just freeze dried Navajos.

I can do some things now that I couldn’t do when I was 17, like date high school girls.

Yo’ Mama is so fat, when she dances, the band skips.

You don’t get a body like this overnight. It takes years of neglect.

I love Satan. Well, I don’t love Satan; I respect him. He always wears black and silver, silver and black. Anybody who can accessorize in that kind of heat — that’s really terrific.

Yo’ Mama is so fat, she can’t even jump to a conclusion.

You can’t be gangster with astigmatism. And I love grimy music, but I can’t be a thug. What am I gonna do — rob bookstores?

Yo’ Mama so ugly, when she wore cheese panties, even the rats wouldn’t eat her.

I started wearing glasses, and people started saying I looked smart. I’m like, huh? I ain’t smart; I can’t see! I didn’t go to Harvard; I went to Lens Crafters.