Q: What kind of birth control do snakes use? A: Anacondoms.

I hope I’m not poisonous, says the first snake.“Why?” asks the second snake.“Because I just bit my lip.”

A snail is walking down the road, when all of a sudden two turtles appear. They rough up the snail, take his money, and leave him for dead. Months later in the courtroom, after the two turtles have been arrested, the judge asks the snail to describe what happened on …

Q: What’s invisible and smells like carrots? A: Bunny farts.

Q: Why are fish so smart? A: They live in schools.

What do you call a smart blonde? A Golden Retriever.

Why did the squirrel sleep on his stomach? To keep his nuts warm!

Q: What do you call a sleeping bull? A: A bulldozer.

Q: What’s the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.

Q: How do you stop a skunk from smelling? A: You hold his nose.