Yo’ Mama is so skinny, when she leans against a wall, she looks like a crack.

Yo’ Mama is so skinny, when she tripped and hit the curb, she shattered.

My kids keep me hip because we have MTV. That’s how I know the new groups, the heavy guys. I know the heavy metal dudes: Guns N’ Ammo, Bon Jersey, New Kids Down the Street — I know those guys.

I just got back from Vancouver, British Columbia. I had a great flight back; although, I did embarrass the woman next to me on the plane. I didn’t mean to embarrass her. It was one of those flights you sleep on and, well, I sleep in the nude.

Yo’ Mama is so skinny, her nipples touch.

Yo’ Mama is so fat, NASA used her to plug a black hole.

There are some things that black guys can do that [white guys] just can’t. Like wear a purple suit and not look like The Joker.

Even if you had an all-white high school with only one black guy in the entire school, you would still see 89 white kids in Fubu before you see one black guy with a mullet and a hockey jersey.

So they ask me, ‘Would you like to answer your secret security password question?’ I think, ‘Oh yeah, surely I can answer a question posed by slightly younger me.’

I’m walking around the gym, and I made the gruesome mistake of trying to get involved in a gym conversation — which I have no business doing. These two bruisers are, like, talking back and forth to one another. The first guy’s like, ‘Hey what you gonna freakin’ work on …