Q: What are a woman’s four favorite animals? A: A mink in the closet, a Jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bedroom and an ass to pay for it all.

Two rednecks walk down a dirt path. One man has a big sack over his shoulder. The other man asks what’s in the sack.The first man says, “I got me some chickens for dinner tonight.”The other man asks how many chickens are in the sack.“Well, I’ll tell you,” replies the …

Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.

A man and his pet giraffe walk into a bar and start drinking. As the night goes on, they get drunk, and the giraffe finally passes out. The man decides to go home. As he’s leaving, the man is approached by the barkeeper who says, “Hey, you’re not gonna leave …

A kangaroo walks into a bar and tells the bartender, “Blood is the lipstick of all wounds.” The bartender does not know how he said this or why.

Q: Why did the chewing gum cross the road? A: He was stuck to the chicken’s foot.

A grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you!” The grasshopper looks surprised and asks, “You have a drink named Steve?”

A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “I’ll have a pint of beer and a………. packet of peanuts.” The bartender asks, “Why the big pause?”

A birch and a beech tree grow up side by side in the forest. One day, a sapling grows between them, and each swears that it’s not their son. The beech thinks it’s a son-of-a-birch, and the birch thinks it’s a son-of-a-beech. To settle it, they enlist the help of …

A newlywed couple arrives in their sumptuous honeymoon suite, and it turns out they are both virgins. Brought up the old traditional way, neither of them really knows how to have sex. So after about half a painful hour of abortive attempts to get it on, an idea occurs to …