A man went over to his girl’s place for a little bit of nookie between the sheets. He presented her with three choices of condom — gold, silver, or bronze. “Silver,” she said. “Why not gold?” “Because I want you to come second for once!”

    A woman was at work when a man said, "Your hair smells nice."

This lady walks into her boss’s office one day and says, “Sir, I’d like to file a sexual harassment complaint.” Her boss says, “Well what’s your complaint?” She says, “My co-worker Joe said my hair smelled nice.” The boss says, “That’s really not sexual harassment.” The lady counters, “But, Joe’s …

Q: What do you get when you have 50 lesbians and 50 congressmen in one place?A: A roomful of people who don’t do dick.

A young woman goes to church and confesses her sins to the priest.“Oh, Father, last night my boyfriend made hot, passionate love to me seven times,” she says.The priest thinks about this long and hard and says, “Take seven lemons and squeeze the juice into a tall glass and drink …

Q: Why do some blondes only think about sex? A: They’re dirty blondes.

A young married couple maintains a strict sexual schedule. Every day, the husband and wife get home from work at 5 p.m. and have sex at 5:15 p.m.One day, the wife comes down with the flu and goes on antibiotics. The medicine kills all the germs, except for three, who …

A married couple was on holiday in Pakistan. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed a small sandal shop. From inside they heard a gentleman with a Pakistani accent say, ”You, foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop.” So the married …

What kind of math don’t they teach in school? How to add a bed, subtract your clothes, divide your legs, and multiply!

What’s 69 plus 69? Dinner for 4.