A redneck takes his daughter to the doctor to get birth control pills. The doctor wonders if she’s a little young for birth control pills and asks her father if she’s sexually active. The father replies, “No, she just kinda lays there, just like her mother.”

A man goes to his doctor and says, “Please help me! I’ve got a problem.”The doctor examines the man and finds a red ring around his penis. The doctor gives him an ointment to rub on the problem area.“It’s all cleared up,” the man reports when he returns. “What was …

I don’t believe anything I see on TV. There was that herbal shampoo commercial where the ladies were in the shower using the shampoo, and they’re having orgasms. I went to Costco and bought the family pack of that. I was in the shower all weekend. The shampoo does not …

Ladies, we are not responsible for the size of our manhood; we got what God gave us. But every woman is responsible for the size of her vagina.

If I masturbate with hand sanitizer, do I have to wash my hands when I’m done?

The amazing thing is, when you learn to masturbate in a shower, it only takes a minute before the rest of the team is kicking your ass.

A farmer buys a rooster to service his 200 hens. When he gets the rooster into the barnyard, he tells him, “Randy, I want you to pace yourself now. You’ve got a lot of chickens to service here, and you cost me a lot of money. Have fun, but take …

Q: Why don’t rabbits make noise when they have sex? A: They have cotton balls.

Three rabbits escape from a testing lab and find an entire field full of carrots. They eat themselves into a stupor and sleep throughout the night. The next morning, they find an entire field full of female rabbits with no males in sight. They screw themselves into a stupor and …

I got a massage today, which was pretty cool, you know. Except they gave me a man, which was a little weird, you know what I mean? At one point I was like, ‘Is it normal to get an erection?’ He goes, ‘Sure.’ I said, ‘Well, can you get it …