I want your booty near my boutonniere.

A guy sees his new neighbor out in his backyard, so he decides to get acquainted. After introductions, he asks the new neighbor what he does for a living. The new neighbor says, “I’m a professor.” The first neigbhbor then asks, “Oh yeah, what do you teach?” “Logic,” the professor …

A dentist, an electrician, and a carpenter decide to play a practical joke their best friend on his wedding night.“I’ll loosen some joints on his bed so it collapses when he’s making love,” says the carpenter.“I’ll hot wire his mattress so they’ll feel immense heat while making love,” says the …

A. How do you get a nun pregnant? Q. Dress her up as an altar boy!

Q: How did Dairy Queen get pregnant? A: Burger King forgot to wrap his whopper.

Q: What two things can get a woman pregnant when they’re in the air?A: Her feet.

Q: Two little potatoes stand on the street corner. One is a prostitute. How can you tell which one is the prostitute?

Three women were at the doctor’s office for the second trimester check up. The first woman, a brunette, said that she was sure that she would have a girl because when she made love to her husband, she was on top! The second affirmed with certainty that she would have …

Q: What do porcupines say after they kiss? A: “Ouch.”

Q: What’s the difference between a politician and a screwdriver? A: A screwdriver turns in screws; politicians screw interns.